Consistence
One day I talked about about relationship with a friend, I said there's a consistence in my attitude that I won't specifically do anything or change any part of my personality for the purpose of winning a girl's heart.
The justification is: No expectation, no disappointment.
If a girl don't have any expectation upon me yet still willing to accept the whole of me, then we both will probably lead a better life.
I have tried it before, of course, did my best to win my first girlfriend's love. One of the accountable reasons for the failure of our relationship is that I wasn't able to be the same person who chased her at the very beginning, I changed back to the normal me after we started dating.
To her disappointment, I became not so romantic, not so considerate and not so willing to spend much time with her, etc...eventually she reached a conclusion that I don't love her as much as I used to be.
My fault, I shouldn't have presented her with an inconsistent image which led her into believing that I could be a good boyfriend.
I am what I am, and I am always showing my true personality. Other than the changes naturally occur to me, I won't make any change just because a person says he or she likes or dislikes certain part of my personality. This is a package deal, you can't really bargain.
Perhaps, I will treat a girl better after she becomes a girlfriend.
The justification is: No expectation, no disappointment.
If a girl don't have any expectation upon me yet still willing to accept the whole of me, then we both will probably lead a better life.
I have tried it before, of course, did my best to win my first girlfriend's love. One of the accountable reasons for the failure of our relationship is that I wasn't able to be the same person who chased her at the very beginning, I changed back to the normal me after we started dating.
To her disappointment, I became not so romantic, not so considerate and not so willing to spend much time with her, etc...eventually she reached a conclusion that I don't love her as much as I used to be.
My fault, I shouldn't have presented her with an inconsistent image which led her into believing that I could be a good boyfriend.
I am what I am, and I am always showing my true personality. Other than the changes naturally occur to me, I won't make any change just because a person says he or she likes or dislikes certain part of my personality. This is a package deal, you can't really bargain.
Perhaps, I will treat a girl better after she becomes a girlfriend.
posted by Zenneth | 3:48 am
2 Comments:
hey zen...funny how u brought the whole relationship thing up as im having major problem with mine atm im so agreeing with u ...i hope all is well with u.
cheers,
Riche
Received this from Star:
Zenneth,
Thanks for sharing these delicate thoughts with me. I do appreciate your consistance in the diary delivery service.
People learn and grow as they experience things. Some experience are nurturing while others are destructive. Some teach you how to love and be brave, while others warn you how important self-protection is. I can see the your intention to be a better and more mature person from your past romance and that you expect the next round will be more successful. I'm pleased to see a man doing things in this sensible manner, but not necessarily agree with you on some point.
My point of view is, laziness and inertia lie in the roots of every human being. When you get settled with someone, become his/her bf/gf, physically, your nerves just automatically relax and dont have the same extent of reflex as they did in the chasing stage. Chasing somebody definately needs passion, but passion is not something that will last for long. It is just so natural that you become so passionate and excited when you fall for someone and it's even more natural to go with the flow. The thing is, both you and your partner should understand that over the time, this passion will and is normal to be substituted by something lighter, which will last longer. Maybe both of you do understand, but it's a fact hard to accpet or embrace, especially for girls. As a guy, you might take romance as one element among many other things of your life and I believe many girls have the same thoughts. Yet, there is also another type of girls, who is more sensitive than other people. In that case, she would need more care, love, comfort and reaffirmation of your affection to her.
All what I'm saying is, don't stick to one mindset and believe you've found the truth, which is largely a result of a past romance. It might be the truth, it might be not. Things are so different with people with different characteristics. There is no set rules in romance. Sincerity, honesty, to her and to yourself is always important.
Wish the best of you. Be passionate!
Star
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